This is Not a Perfect Story

This post is going to be a very personal and in depth analysis of my relationship with Ricky. I’m going to share with you the story of our relationship from the shy beginnings to the silly and loving present, as well as the fights and tears in between. I think that this kind of post is important because it’s always relieving to see that others in relationships are going through the same things as you. Although I am only 20 years old, after three years of dating I feel that I have learned a lot from my first serious relationship and my first love.

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The Beginning.

Ricky and I met while working at Little Caesar’s Pizza, which happened to be both of our first jobs. Honestly, I don’t even remember the first time I met Ricky because I was so infatuated with another boy who worked there, who we will call Trey. Trey and I went on a few dates and even hung out with our coworkers, including Ricky. But ultimately Trey was older and was interested in, ahem, other things (and other girls) so he ended our little dates.

Enter Ricky. Our group of friends at work kept hinting to me that Ricky thought I was cute and that he had a crush on me but I never returned his affections in the beginning. Ricky had aways been quiet and whenever I tried to make conversation with him, it were short and to the point. I even believed that he didn’t like me because of how quiet he was around me. I was shocked when I was told that he had a crush on me. Skip to me and Ricky working more shifts together after he transfers full time to my store (which it’s rumored he did just to spend more time with me) and a lot of Buffalo Wild Wings trips with the gang, more flirtation, and him opening up, I develop a crush and Ricky asks me on a date.

After a few dates- including mini golf and ice cream (our first), attending the local fair together, and watching him play in his recreational softball games- Ricky asked me to officially be his girlfriend after about a month of dating. We shared our first kiss on September 25th in the Little Caesar’s parking lot where he asked me to be his girlfriend.

After the Honeymoon. 

After we had been dating for a few months I could tell that we were in this for the long haul. We both like to joke and be silly and we enjoy the same types of movies and outdoor activities. I admire his work ethic and ambition and he respects my passion for writing and encouraged me to change my major when I wasn’t sure what career to follow.

However, we are both very stubborn people who enjoy being correct in every situation. This was rough in the beginning when we first began to fight over little things. Why doesn’t he clean his room more? Why don’t I drive better? Why did he/she wear this? It also doesn’t help that I tend to take comments very personal and Ricky is very blunt. He isn’t rude per say, but he has no finesse when it comes to the English language. Things would get rough and I would get frustrated and I could tell he would get frustrated too.

I ended things with Ricky one night after a fight over when we wanted to go see a movie. He wanted it his way and I wanted it my way. Frankly, I had enough and broke up with him. It sounds petty but we communicated poorly and mostly bottled things up until we would explode in a storm of sarcasm and fury. The next day I immediately regretted my decision and, after a heart to heart with my dad about how no one is perfect and a second chance is ok, I called him and asked to meet in persona and beg for forgiveness. We reconciled and I have since learned a lot about how to communicate in better ways.

My tips for relationships

  • Take a chance on the guy who wouldn’t normally be your type. Especially if your current type is the hot guy who lies to you. A charming boy who respects you is worth way more than a pretty face.
  • Just relax. Who cares if he wants to take the longer way to the movies in your opinion? Or if she doesn’t always rinse her plate off? I bet there are things about you that bug your partner too. Don’t sweat the small stuff and your partner won’t either.
  • Have fun. Never take yourself or your relationship too seriously. The second I stopped trying to make Ricky the perfect boyfriend and decided to just enjoy him, the happier I became. And when I decided to be just as goofy as him and loosen up, we both became much happier.
  • Talk it out. Something on your mind? Bring it up. Upset about that comment? Tell them. Don’t bottle it up and create a mess of resentment. Talk it out.
  • You don’t have to like the same exact things. I think it’s important to have a good common foundation, like having the same morals and ways of looking at the world. But I like Doctor Who and he doesn’t. He likes anime and I don’t. We both like Star Wars and that’s all that matters.
  • Love each other. Ricky and I once read that you should tell your partner that you appreciate them. We jokingly began telling each other “I appreciate you” randomly. Now, when Ricky tells me “I appreciate you” while I do the dishes or pick up his messy clothes, I can tell it means something and I cherish it. I strive to make him feel loved and wonderful just as he makes me feel.

“All that you are is all that I’ll ever need” -Ed Sheeran

 

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